For the past eight weeks my life has been filled with a lot of sickness. I feel guilty even writing about it, because honestly I feel like its all I ever talk about. Coughing, fevers, headaches, stomachaches........you name it, I have had it. And, to be honest its taking quiet a toll on me. My body aches from coughing, and just the sensation of a cough coming on, brings me to tears.
I always pride myself on staying one step ahead, and lately its all I can do to keep my head focused long enough to figure out whats going on. I feel like I am letting people down, because I just don't have enough energy to keep up with "me" anymore. (Sad thought, huh?)
I lay in bed thinking, why didn't I sleep more, exercise more, take more vitamins, eaten healthier, prayed more etc. Yet, all the should-ofs, could-ofs, would-ofs, cannot be changed.
This evening, I decided I was tired I feeling guilty for resting. I decided it was time for me to accept this time of sickness in my life, and trust the Lord that I would be content with the situation He had given me. I sat down to spend a few moments of quiet time with the Lord, and my daily devotion read:
"Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of my greatest words in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.
Quietness and trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of serving Me. Although you feel cut off from the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in spiritual realms. My Strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness." (Jesus Calling Devotion)
Oh My WORD........did I need to hear that. For the last few weeks I have whined, cried, and complained about being sick. I have tried to convenience myself and everyone else that I am not sick, that I can do everything I need to do, and I will take care of myself "later". Yet, I am blessed beyond words to have the Lord speak such truth in my life.
So what does tomorrow and the weekend hold? Lots of PEACEFUL rest and time with My Lord. No more guilt or regret for taking care of me for a change. And, I am humbled by how the Lord ALWAYS meets us exactly where we are, exactly at the time we need it.
PTL!!!
Have a great weekend!!
And, no more feeling like this............... :-)
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