Well Hello Friends!!! Whew, time flies huh!! I promise I haven't forgot about this little blog, but things lately have a little crazy to find time to post. And, since I use this blog to give updates on my life throughout the years and I always try to be real and transparent, its with that I have to admit these past few weeks have been really difficult. I am not going to lie, I have shed more tears and had so many "gut checks" that I honestly not sure what to do with myself. LOL!!
Now everyone in my family is fine (PTL) and things on the surface look great. However, the Lord has truly been chasing after me with all His Might. And, for good reason. You see, for the past few months (okay 11 months) I resisted seeking the Lord. I was convinced doing things my way, being friends with who I wanted to be friends with, making decisions that did not glorify the Lord because they made me feel accepted and good about myself was the best thing for me. Yup, I totally did things my way. I made idols out of my accomplishments and certain relationships, and took the Lord off the throne of my heart and put everything and everyone else there.
It all came to a head about four months ago, when I felt that a season of change was coming. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew that something was getting ready to happen. I talked to a few close christian friends about it; however, I began feeling extremely aware of the movement of the Holy Spirit in my life. Yet, I wasn't sure how to respond. I had trouble praying at times and truly didn't feel as if I was abiding in the Lord. And, truth be told there were areas in my life that I wasn't abiding.
Then as the last 6 weeks have passed by, I honestly felt that I couldn't do anything right. Everything became confusing and chaotic, and I've truly felt like I was in a fog. I began trying to dig my heals into the sand and control things in my power, but that quickly fell apart. As I came to the end of my rope and almost hit rock bottom, the Lord reached out and threw me into His Arms. And, spoke the following into my soul:
"Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
Oh, how sweet is our Lord. He literally chased after me, pursued me, and saved me once again from my own self destruction. I have stumbled a lot over the past several months and at times allowed my emotions to get the best of me; however, I know what the enemy meant for my harm that the Lord meant for good (Gen 50:20). God will redeem this situation for His Glory, and I am so thankful for His sweet mercy and grace.
And, through this entire situation, I am reminded of the first message I every preached 8 years ago. It was about how God uses our "Was" (our past) to bring victory to our "Is to Come" (Our Future). Oh sweet friends, how true is that! God will always bring restoration, healing, and victory to every situation that was meant to cause us destruction. No matter how hard we have fallen or how desperate we feel, He Loves Us Soooo Much and will always bring completeness to every situation.
And, now I am standing on this promise"
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
They run and don’t get tired,
They walk and don’t lag behind.
(Isaiah 40:31 Msg.)
Thank you Father for your faithfulness and relentless love. May my life glorify your Holy Name!!