I've been a Christian since I was eight (maybe a little longer), and over the last 27 years the Lord has done some AMAZING things in my life and truly blessed me in ways I never deserved. However, over the past year, the Lord has poured out a blessing that has been exceeding abundantly more than I could have asked or imagined. (Eph. 3:20).
When I think about life a year ago, I remember the following things:
- Being exhausted beyond words
- My body on the brink of a nervous breakdown
- Doubting all my abilities, judgements, and talents
- Feeling like I was failing as a wife, daughter, and friend
- Frustrated for letting my life get so far away from me
- And, finally deciding to make the decision to change everything I could in my life - including my job, walking away from so-called friends, and stepping down from EVERY community and civic responsibility.
I knew I had the love and support from my incredible husband and family, and by the grace of God I knew the ONLY thing that could ever help get me out of this pit was the Lord himself. Everything about my situation aggravated me. I felt used, mentally abused, and I knew this was not the life the Lord had intended me to live.
I can even remember back to an evening last January, when I received a very frustrating call about something at work, and when I got off the phone all I could do was cry. I was so frustrated and tired, and I couldn't find any words to pray. All I could do was cry, and I knew things needed to change.
So, I began asking the Lord to change my heart, change my situation, change my outlook on life, and ultimately change the direction of my life. I knew I was being a sub-par wife, daughter, and friend, and all the effort to be a rock star employee had blown up in my face like a puff of wind. I was done doing things "My Way," and decided it was time to begin trusting that the Lord to put me back together again - to be whole, complete, and ready to serve Him.
That incident in my kitchen stirred something in my soul, and I knew the only way I would get through it was to WAIT (patiently) on the Lord. So, I soon changed jobs, and began getting balance in life. I worked normal hours, spent lots of time with my husband, friends, and family and enjoyed some much needed relaxation. I faced some health issues as my body recovered from the intense stress; however, by summer I was feeling great, and the Lord was blessing me with a season of rest that I had not experienced in a long time.
In the Fall, I began experiencing a stir in my heart that something was about to change. I didn't know what it was, but spent a lot of time praying and talking to Matt and beginning to open our hearts to a possible upcoming transition.
Side note: For years, Matt and I talked about how we would NEVER move back home, because we could not find jobs in our hometown. However, in 2014, the Lord began changing our hearts, and we kept talking about how much we desired to be closer to family and discussing the possibility to moving home.
As Fall was well underway, I learned about a new work opportunity in my hometown that sounded very interesting. As I stated above, Matt and I had been talking more and more about moving home, and this opportunity seemed like the perfect fit. The only kicker - Matt's job was still in Knoxville. After going through one of the most intense interview processes of my life, I was so excited to land the new job. And, it didn't take Matt or I very long to agree that this was definitely a path the Lord was leading us, and excitedly took the new job.
Starting my new job at the BCM!
We still were not sure when Matt would get a job or if we would have to co-habitat in two cities for a while. However, in our hearts we had a peace that everything would work out perfectly. And, God's timing was right on track. By December, Matt learned of a new opportunity with his company and was awarded a promotion and a transfer to be closer to home. (Oh well for once believing we could not find jobs in our hometown......LOL!!)
Over Christmas, I spent time packing up our house and moving, and in January we put our house on the market. Five (5) HOURS later, we sold it and this past Friday we finalized all the paperwork and closed on the house.
Every step of this process as been perfectly orchestrated by the Lord's timing. Even at our closing, a small gift was given to Matt and I that the Lord used to reaffirmed that He is into even the smallest details of our lives.
Which leads me back to the beginning of this post - yes, I have been a Christian for 27+ years; however, even today I am blown away about how loving and faithful Jesus truly is to those who place their trust in Him. The Lord has it ALL under control and all we have to do is TRUST, be patient, and wait on His timing to move.
I am so honored that the Lord entrusted Matt and I with this big transition so we could give Him all the glory He deserves. This transition to move closer to home has been such a blessing and a reassurance to my soul. He has changed me from the person I was a year ago and my soul is better for it.
So, if you are facing challenges and feeling defeated about where life has you. STOP. Turn over all those fears and worry to the Lord, and I promise the adventure that is ahead of you is exceedingly, abundantly more than you can think or ask.
Be blessed my friends!!