My past caught up with me today..........a good friend of mine from back in my last teens sent me an email, asking how things were going in my life, how my parents were doing, a lot of general catch up email. I always ask God every time someone or something from my past appears in my life to give me wisdom to know if it is from Him or a strategy move of the enemy in my life?
Todays test.....I began to fail...MISERABLE. How, you ask? Well..................I have been very busy with work for the past few weeks, and when I got the email from the old friend I instantly became distracted. A lot of old memories, feelings, and emotions smacked me right in the face. I could not concentrate on my job, conversations I had with people, nothing. My heart began to become self-centered and my eyes began to drift of the Lord, and focus on me.
As soon as I finished reading the e-mail, my phone rang and it was ANOTHER person from my past. Another set of memories and emotions hit me like a brick wall. And I am not kidding, by the time I got off the phone, I get an AOL Instant Message from yet ANOTHER PERSON from my past.
For the rest of the afternoon, I focused on these three (3) people and the mark they have left on my heart. It wasn't until I was talking with my husband this evening, filling him on the day's drama, that I realized that these three (3) people are not the "friends" that the Lord has sent in my life. These 3 people are folks that represent a time in my life that I depended on a person to make me feel whole, complete, worthwhile, loved, and beautiful. Not the Lord. As I have matured in my walk with Christ, I know that only HE can sustain me and make me who I am suppose to be.
Tonight, as I head to bed, I thank the Lord for today's "drama", bc even though I may of missed a few questions on the test, at the end of the day I have PASSED the test and realized the only true past that counts is my salvation and relationship with my Savior.
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